Then I guess, you do not plan on giving something a try that can help you, that is sad, believe me do not give up, this sounds like what you are doing, sure it is rough, and the stresses you have daily are not unusual for all of us on this earth.
Maybe, learning new coping skills with therapy may be the answer, and maybe a different med may help you get on track.
I understand right now, how you feel, I've been there and even worse, when I finally accepted stuff, I worked with my pdoc and therapist, I stopped working against them, cause that got me no where.
If you want things to improve in your life, you need to make one step forward, then all postive things will follow, the road to good outcome, can be brutal, steal you of emotion, keep trodding on, you'll make it

If a person keeps convincing themselves that things aren't going to get better, they waste all their engergies being unproductive, whilst seeking therapy one can change this cycle and move forward. . . it's up to you.
I wish you lots of luck during this difficult time, just wish you'd reconsider getting professional help.

Take care now,
DE