To the OP: No I'm not ashamed at all of my high intelligence. I have even higher emotional intelligence, and I'm proud of that too. I read only a small amt. of your thread, but it sounds like you're a professor. If you want to be average, maybe find an average job. Also it sounds like you wrestle with your self esteem and disliking yourself. I have to be honest, I'd never heard of anyone disliking their own intelligence before. It seems like such an asset. But I hear you on wanting to fit in. I say work on your self esteem. In my opinion, this is a very small thing to lament about. But I also wonder if it has to do with something masculine. Are you male? Regardless, Good luck.