So far today I've been okay. Yesterday was hard, though. I had a lot of intrusive memories and thoughts (thoughts being violent things to do to myself or someone else) and a few flashbacks. I dissociated most of the day. I didn't realize until it was too late that I'd forgotten to take my meds that morning (including my antipsychotic). Darkness rolled around and my hallucinations became overwhelming. Today I've started a new (possibly temporary) addition to my cocktail. My PCP was uncomfortable about the idea of upping one of my meds and he'd rather leave that to my pdoc. Instead he gave me Adderall. I'm just feeling drugged today, hopefully I'll adjust soon. I feel so screwed up today. I didn't realize how much my mental health relies on my meds. I hate that it does. I'm dependent on something that can easily be taken away.