I am still feeling very depressed. I’m going to try to apply for more jobs tomorrow. I haven’t been even looking due to depression but I’ve found a few yesterday and will apply tomorrow hopefully.

I spent the day in bed today. From 8:45am to 3:45pm. Got up briefly to eat lunch. Was supposed to go grocery shopping but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Will try again tomorrow. My T Says I need to do the behavioral part of depression therapy (opposite action) and not just rely on meds since meds don’t always work for me. She’s right. This is still more of a situational depression though because I’m not getting suicidal which I inevitably do in episodic depression. I’m just trying not to slide into an actual episode. That means actually getting up and doing **** I’m supposed to do.

I promised my son I’d take him to the arcade on Saturday. He’s been asking to go for a few weeks now and I keep putting it off because, well, the arcade sucks lol. I don’t like it. Plus I can’t stand that long with my back (which has not improved yet with the injections). But I’ll just take Ibuprofen and suck it up so he can have some fun. I don’t want to keep being such a downer for him.

Sigh. My boyfriend still isn’t talking as much though he did text me today to tell me to have a nice day which was sweet of him. I think I just have to let him get through his gramdma’s Funeral and stuff like that. Hoping to see him on Wednesday. We will see.

I just hope I don’t get suicidal. I don’t deal well with suicidal thoughts.