Ugh, yeah. But the I truly am sick of Ensure from my previous experience with it. Also, it too gets expensive. I will try to use the protein powders. Failing that, I think I used the Slimfast shakes between meals (not as meals) too. They might have less protein or calories from the other shakes. They used to sell Slimfast in a powdered form, so I would mix that with milk. But I am not sure if the powdered version still exists. I tried the protein powder I got mixed with water instead of milk (really I thought those things could be mixed with either water or milk); this one says water on the directions and still - gag!

No running today. No exercise except cleaning the master bathroom and working on the soap scum in my daughter’s tub. I have to continue that tomorrow. But I managed a little vacuuming too.

It is getting hard to go with no exercise. Maybe walking tomorrow morning I am thinking. I feel horribly fat and guilty, and it has only been a couple days. I really hate this stage of ED recovery. Hopefully, it won’t be like my last recovery, where I overshot my set point weight by 10 lb before my weight got to a set point. It was lower the my high school weight, but IDK, after breastfeeding it settled there again (couldn’t keep weight on while nursing), so who knows? But I hope maybe starting sooner rather than later on this will make it easier in the long run. Though I really wish I could continue running.

Seeing T again tomorrow. She is not an ED T, but really, I have heard the ED stuff before, echoed it myself. I need to see if our insurance covers a dietician. I know they have one at the multi-spceiality clinic next to my PCP. But she might not do ED stuff, more like managing diets for heart disease, etc. The good thing is the T is close. Having no commute helps a lot. I don’t think she does marriage counseling though.

I hope H does see some ways past our financial difficulties. He flat out said my not working would not be a burden if he made better pay and we had better medical insurance. He has told me he is going to take a week or 2 then start emailing contacts from his old jobs. And I think JSC (Johnson Space Center) may have some funding again, which means there could be openings for research again with NASA contractors. We really hope not to move. The other outpostings for Lamar are only 2 year colleges, which means they tend to hire adjunct professors, usually just with a Masters. H could get an adjunct job here (San Jacinto College) is a ten minute drive away though I don’t think he would have the energy to teach high school all day, then work as an adjunct 3 to 5 days a week. The pay is horrible. One of H’s friends here teaches math as a adjunct at San Jac, and he hasn’t earned enough pay to move out of his mother’s house, though to be fair, he may spend a good deal of his pay on gaming. H looked at teaching at Lee College, but I think it’s all adjunct stuff again, which adds up to much less than what high school teachers earn.

I don’t know. I hope H’s mindset improves. He is worried about his father too. Since his dad is out in California, H hasn’t seen him since his mom’s funeral last December. And after that, things just got so bad for us financially, just worse and worse, cars breaking down, huge AC repair bills, a perforated ulcer, you cannot even write this much bad luck. Hopefully, a contact of H will know something.

Until, we just keep going on a day at a time.