I honestly think the root of all this, besides whatever happened in her upbringing (her parents are divorced and yelled a lot, plus they had high/specific expectations they put on her) is that she's not happy in her life with what she's doing- career-wise mostly, but also relationships etc. But instead of taking responsibility for this she often seems to turn it on people either with her mood, or stuff I hear her say to her bf.
Then additionally she will occasionally lash out at others- ex- one day they had a fight, after which we carpulled to gig. She had tried before to lend me her clothes on numerous occasions, which I like her outfits often but these specific ones I didn't like for me (I have different style and body type), I gently declined. They were long dresses/pantsuits. On the way she was making comments about how she didn't like to be objectified and would never wear a skirt or shorter shorts (she does wear shorts tho?), she didn't want people looking up her skirt (the stage is 6" above the floor for perspective). She didn't want to be "slutty". Of course, I almost ALWAYS wear a knee-ish length dress/shorts. She made some comment about the sort of man you would attract wearing such a thing. I was like, yo, I wear this bc I like this, and I'm actually sweaty. And to say I dress slutty anyone who knows me would think is laughable (also, bc I am in my late 30s, never had a boyfriend, and a virgin for goodness' sake, I don't even know if I could look slutty if I tried). For the previous reason, also a sensitive topic for me. I knew that this comment probably came bc she was upset about other stuff but it's really in retrospect not cool? A lot of the stuff that happens in the house is like this too- for instance, thing with fridge being a mess, sometimes stuff was disappearing, stuff everywhere, food going bad. She had good idea to make shelves for each person. This was a great idea and it seemed to solve the problem, but first it was 2 months of blaming a specific person, claiming her bf always took that person's side, saying that she can't afford like the rest of us to just eat whatever (tho she quit her main job, and reduced hours at another, meanwhile other of us are budget conscious- I get income based CSA produce, and another roommate later lost his minimum wage job). That she's the only one to have any problem, not so much about how it will benefit everyone.
Any coping strategies?
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