My s/o's adult kids came to visit. Suposedly their dad doesn't have a whole lot longer to live. So, after years of not seeing these people, now they fly out to demonstrate how loving they are. They came for just a few days, staying at a fancy hotel. They partied non-stop the whole time. They took family photos - none of which I was asked to be in. We all went out to eat. I felt like a hired attendant - there mainly to take Dad to the bathroom. When I tried to join in conversation, no one seemed interested in anything I had to say. They're real loud types. I'm not. One nice photo they took of their dad happened to capture half of my face. I feel taken for granted.

They're gone. Tonight I cooked dinner for my s/o and me. Cooked, served and partially cleaned up. I sat down to have coffee and desert in front of the TV with my s/o. I was in a good mood. I told him how the evening was my happy time . . . how I liked sitting with him having my single nightly glass of wine with dinner . . . then viewing something on TV together, sipping coffee. No sooner had I sat down and got comfortable, than he announced he's going to sleep. I got mad.

"Well, don't stay up on my account." I got mad. I felt like he was dismissing me. Having availed himself of my services as cook and waitress, he had no further use for me this evening. Just as I'm sitting down to enjoy us relaxing together, he announces that he is ready to retire. I had a bite of dessert in my mouth. I told him I was sick of always feeling rushed. So he's in sleep mode now, and I feel lonely. He will summon me when he needs something.

I can spend hours being attentive to him. He expects it of me. But he doesn't think to try and be companionable to me. I got so full of resentment, I even told him about how I felt excluded when his family was visiting and arranging poses for photographs that I was not asked to be in. He is mobility impaired seriously. I assisted him to get out and meet up with his visitors for dinners. I did all I could to facilitate him having a nice reunion with his kids. But when I mentioned talking on the phone to one of my relatives, he said he had no interest in hearing about my family. I'm sick of this.

I could simply stop being his caregiver. Then he would go to a nursing home. I'm ruining my life staying with him.

At the same time. I think I'm being very childish.