She managed to pull me out before it got too violent. All it took was a sliding glass door to be slammed shut. That's it. Mid-sentence I just was sent back. I was about to fight back when my friend's voice came through and I realized it was her holding my hand, not my.... I'm sorry, this is probably really triggering for most here. That's not the intention. I just... I've had so many different flashbacks of different events since I started working through my trauma. I didn't realize just how much was there. I think there's still a lot I'm not aware of.

What if I wouldn't have heard my friend's voice? What if I had attacked her? I always tell myself I wouldn't hurt anybody, but what if I have no control over that? I don't want to hurt people and my ****'s getting more and more violent as time goes on. How do I get this stuff under control when I'm triggered so ****ing easily?