I have been really struggling since my T left. She was always so understanding of my attachment to her and my fears of abandonment, no matter how obsessive it seemed. Until I drove by her house and broke that boundary. I still feel very ashamed of it and want to do everything in my power to never do that again if I ever have the urge to do so. I’m not sure I will ever have that urge, but I am committed to not act on it.

My struggle is that I have been meeting with new Ts and psychologists for initial sessions/intakes and the Question always somehow comes up - “What prompted your last T’s termination.” I reply saying I crossed her boundary and then they ask what I did, so I tell them, “I drove by her house”. That’s about when they tell me they don’t think they’d be the right therapist for me and then refer me to a more structured DBT program. I have been researching extensively on these programs and DBT therapists, however, most of them don’t take insurance. And the ones that do, have long waiting lists or just aren’t accepting new clients. Also, now that my attachment figure is gone, I don’t have these urges to cross her boundaries or get disregulated by something she does. I just feel detached from everything and anyone, so I don’t even know what I’d be working on in DBT. I just feel so discouraged and feel like a crazy person that none of the psychologists that I’ve met with can help me.