Lenny, therapist did not change. she has apologized and stated that she made a big mistake. I am however still in awful pain. My doc is one who has had to grow quickly. The
hospital has set up a stupid schedule for him to see patients. It has hurt him and his way of practicing medicine. Now he is hateful to me. I went today to a rehabilitive psychologist for written testing to help the doc figure out what to do with me. I don't think I was honest on the tests as I am really trying to pull within, I have no needs. It is a matter of life and death for me now. Yes manure stinks if left in the tiny rooms and not allowed to air. All of my old stuff has been aired. It's just the reactin that has me doing what I am saying. I can note that it is old stuff but it is survival. Thanks for replying. I

I shaved my head with head clippers today. It is not bad. I have wanted to for months as I needed a way to externally show my pain. Some cultures wear black. I had no other way to show my grief and pain but to shave bald. I have always had long hair until 4 months ago I started having it cut quite short. I can only get a little shorter then this. It is my symbol. I know. I am a mess. I hate the ptsd