"I hate you don't leave me". Is the title of one of the few books i've read on Bpd.

My T brought up part theory which was what we worked with. Ive always felt very fragmented and relatively stuck at the ages of 4,7 and my current age of 27. The youngest couldn't talk at all and just cried. The oldest was hostile, very sexualized and said things I didn't mean. It was about giving time to each and hearing what each had to say. But with time he made me see that even though i had parts it was still collectively me. With time even the youngest found her voice. I learnt to recognize my behavior.

In another paper by a psychiatrist he talked about there being five stages. The second was hostility, most of the healing was done in the third stage when deep trust had been established. You are where you are and that's okay.