[QUOTE =Xynesthesia]. . .
I also think that we don't need to act on our feelings, but never voicing them is not good either. Maybe the thing is to learn to resist momentary impulses and express negative stuff in meaningful ways that can be discussed and used in problem solving.[/QUOTE]

I don't know about the OP but this was precisely the usual cultural expectation that was not possible for me in the fragmented state in which I entered therapy oh so many years ago. The disconnected parts had to have a place where they could "act out" in order for the normally conscious me to see and begin to understand. I could then begin some process of trying to moderate those -- parts, feelings, impulses, action-systems, whatever you want to call them. I am much better at it now, but I wasn't even 20 years ago. I could keep them cut off, in order to be socially acceptable, as I have said before, but with consequences, not just in the world, but for me, including major depression.