Backstory: I'm a male, born in the late 70's, and I married my highschool sweetheart shortly after college. Our marriage was perfect until our second child. My wife started suffering from depression. She started therapy, but never saw progress. Our marriage remained healthy, I just needed to exert a lot of effort to show her she is loved. She would rarely play with the children.

4 years ago: My wife's best friend from childhood got married and moved away. We unexpectedly had a third child. Parental responsibilities overwhelmed her. Her depression worsened. I couldn't determine how to give her the attention she needed to keep our marriage healthy. When I try to discuss her needs with her, she says she regrets having children, and that she wants a different life. Physical intimacy faded; we would have sex every 1-2 months, but she would never initiate. Other than cooking for them and driving them to/from school, she isn't involved in our children's lives.

6 months ago: Our parents became unable to watch our children, making it difficult to spend time alone with each other. She is no longer willing to have sex with me. We lost our jobs, and needed to stop her therapy due to financial reasons.


She recently told me she no longer loved me. I remain committed to our marriage, and I still love her with all my heart. I constantly remind her she is loved, and give her massages when she lets me. I consider myself a mentally strong person, but now I need help. I feel like I'm a single parent. I feel helplessness not being able to provide my wife what she needs to be happy. I have trouble sleeping due to sexual frustration and disillusionment with the situation. I am concerned with how her detachment is affecting the children.

If I had the money, I would seek out couples therapy. But even if we were employed, the cost of hiring a babysitter would make it prohibitively expensive. None of my close friends are married (or in any kind of relationship) so I don't know where else to get advice. That brings me here.