I am genuinely wondering if what I am feeling is depression or loneliness / isolation.

I went to meditation group and just felt out of it. Kind of curmudgeon. But I didn't say much. Someone said hi to me, I said hi back, but I just feel so out of it. I even said so. I wish I could connect more. I don't feel that I have much connection in my life. But I also feel that today its hard to form them. It hurts.

Maybe thats ok. Maybe it won't always be this way. I tend to look at these things like...things that need to be fixed RIGHT NOW. Maybe, even though I don't like it though, I can take care of myself in other ways. Exercise, knitting, music, even cleaning. Nature. Maybe it is ok to be alone. Even though I don't technically like it.