Since you say you have trouble being as kind to yourself as you are to others, it sounds like you may have trouble with boundaries. This is completely understanding since you were conditioned to hold your abuser's every whim as having the utmost importance.

I would suggest researching the topic of boundaries and trying to improve this area of your life. I have noticed that as I have improved my ability to have boundaries, I am able to handle the triggers better. I often get triggered by poor customer service because it has to do with going to someone for help. When I was a kid, I told an adult I was being abused and they didn't help me. I have noticed that when I have stronger boundaries, and someone is not being a good helper, like with bad customer service, I can recognize that the way they are doing their job is their choice and is not up to me. I can't always expect others to things to accommodate my sensitivities. And the way another person behaves has nothing to do with my safety. It helps me to diffuse the unsafe feelings I experience and to say to myself, "Ohh, it's 'just' a flashback. It's not real." But being a people pleaser, where you feel responsible for others, but don't take responsibility in caring for yourself is a sign that you might benefit from develop good boundaries.