I am never honest about those things. There is nothing T can do anyway. I leave when it is time to leave no matter what is happening. Sometimes t wants me to stay because she can tell we are really dissociated and not with it at all. But what would staying 5 extra minutes achieve? Nothing. I've been like this my whole life. I'll survive to see another week, even when I don't know how anymore. I'ver NEVER known how. Yet here I still am.