Agree with manatee. I think "I don't care" and "whatever" are rather hostile. It doesn't mean that the husbands are necessarily irritated at you going to do something, but that they are irritable seems quite obvious. And what's wrong with just saying "ok" or "alright" unless you are consciously or subconsciously trying to communicate your unhappiness? I understand that it's tempting to want to believe that your perception was the issue, but from the outside looking in, an exchange where one partner responds to the other with "I don't care" or "whatever" feels hostile and disrespectful. Please don't allow your Hs to gaslight you into thinking they weren't being unpleasant, because they were.