My T basically allows however much outside contact I need. I can send an email or leave a voicemail, and she almost always responds with 24 hours, unless I tell her that I don't need a response. My T says that she trusts me to self-regulate when I can and she knows that I use other coping strategies too, so she hasn't felt a need to impose any limits around outside contact with me. I think maybe it is relevant too that the contact usually helps me calm down rather than escalating the problem or creating new problems (i.e., it is rare that I am upset by her response).

My T says that she wants to be there for me when I feel like I need her, and she wants for me to learn that it's safe to reach out to people for help. I reach out semi-regularly and always appreciate being able to do it, but I still feel a lot of fear and anxiety around contacting her. She genuinely doesn't seem to mind spending the extra (unpaid) time on me, but maybe I feel like I'm not worth it. A lot of the things I am in therapy for center around being able to feel like I belong and that it's okay for me to take up space in the world, so I can see the link to how my T finds outside contact therapeutically important. I just feel uncomfortable about it.

I think my anxiety is compounded by reading posts here about people who emphasize self-reliance and try to avoid contacting their therapists at all costs or people who have therapists who arbitrarily shift boundaries. I am wondering if there are people out there who have had mostly positive experiences with outside contact. Did your feelings about reaching out change over time? Does your T encourage you to contact them? In what circumstances? How/why does it help? Do you think of outside contact as a central part of therapy or just a nice little bonus?