But what are you saying when you say you are going to do something for yourself? If you say, im going grocery shopping, then its for the both of you - us meaning him, so he has an interest. But unless it is established beforehand that he has as large an interest in you doing stuff for yourself as he has in you doing stuff for him or us, then you are trying to glean that information from these little hints, these little breadcrumbs, and thats not the way to do it.

If by the breadcrumbs he PROVES he acts one way but SAYS he supports you, then okay, its meaningful to reopen a dialogue, but breadcrumbs arent a dialogue.