How do you deal with them? Do you deal with them? Do you let them play out or subdue them?

More and more I'm discovering that I have no idea how to answer these questions. I always thought I knew the answers. Well, I was an idiot. I never answered them, I ignored every single one. I guess I can answer the second one: No, I don't.

I don't know how I truly feel about anything. All I feel is numb or chaotic, never in between. What kills me is that I've never been this bad about it before. All that plays in my mind is turmoil, grief and "lost" memories. I wrote about what's been going on in my head in another forum (Q&A I think). I think it's taking something out of me. Didn't know there was more to take. I guess there's always more, right up until I give everything. I'm fighting that, as hard as I can, but in order to fight it I need to know why it's there. If I can't feel, how am I supposed to figure that out?

Am I the only one who can't really answer these questions?