I think I've had mostly positive experiences with outside contact. My therapist has never really encouraged or discouraged outside contact (except when he goes on long trips--then he will tell me I can text or email him if I need him). I used to text/email when I needed to, but I rarely needed to. I'm not one of those people who requires a lot of outside contact.

After big fights, I would sometimes email him to tell him how I feel. He always responded promptly, and his responses always made me feel better. One time, when my bio dad was threatening to commit suicide, I texted T a lot (and by "a lot," I mean I sent him maybe five or six texts over two days, but it's a lot for me), and he responded to help me through that stupid situation. When I first moved and started my new job, I texted him whenever something interesting happened, and he'd respond with encouraging remarks.

When I first started seeing my therapist, I didn't have his email address or his cell phone number so I couldn't really contact him between sessions even if I had wanted to. I suppose I could have left a voicemail on his office line, but that's--I don't know--inefficient? Eventually, he gave me his cell phone number and his email address. He never really told me I could contact him between sessions (except one time when he was going to be out of town for 5 or 6 weeks), but I started doing it occasionally, and he didn't tell me I couldn't do it either.

For me, the outside contact was something that started happening organically, as our relationship progressed and deepened. I never abused it so I don't expect him to ever shift boundaries and prohibit it.

The outside contact I've had with him has been helpful. For example, after a big fight, I'm usually feeling pretty bad, and if I had to wait till the next session to talk to him about it, I might go crazy. So being able to email him about the fight helped. When my bio dad was threatening to kill himself, I needed immediate advice on what to do so it helped that I could text my therapist.

I don't feel bad about it because I didn't do it that often. I actually would not be cool with a therapist who didn't allow any outside contact whatsoever. I mean, is this a relationship or not?

Ever since his health got worse, I've been avoiding bothering him with texts. So these days I only text about scheduling issues. Every once in a while I text him to tell him I love him.