I pretty much always get a severe episode this time of year. I think it’s going to be bad this year because it started early and I’ve had a lot of bad things happen. I just went through a breakup too, so I have less of a support system (not like I think a significant other SHOULD be a major part of a support system anymore. I was wrong for thinking that.)

At least if I weren’t single, I’d have to not hurt myself so I’m considered manipulative. I’d have someone to be in the same room with when I’m too bad to be alone (although, I know it’s selfish... I should be alone and leave them out of it.)

I just...I’m not sure what to do. Even if I took medication, it wouldn’t kick in fast enough to be of any use. My therapist sees me every two weeks, so not enough. But that’s her choice, not mine. I have few if any people who are safe to talk to and I have long lonely weekends.