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Originally Posted by Dnester
Yes I've done all that but I dont know why. I mean one of my flashbacks is seeing someone receive oral when I was little but I dont know why that would make me have thoughts about touching kids.
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Well, to me it is kinda obvious and natural. Why does seeing certain kind of sex stimulate someone to do it? It is pretty much how the porn industry works. Porn can get inappropriate, nasty, illegal, whatever... but it operates based on the basic mechanisms of curiosity, triggers, stimulation. You may want to do the same/similar, or just more of it, maybe in a different variety.