I'm trying to figure out how to write what I'm feeling down. It's hard today, that's probably because of the fact that I'm not sure how I'm feeling. I know it's not good. I'm back to looking for ways to hurt myself. I haven't eaten anything since yesterday morning and that wasn't much. I don't have an eating disorder, I don't do this to lose weight. I do it simply to punish myself. I'm good for nothing. That sentence rarely ever escapes my mind. I don't want to keep doing this. I have nothing to look forward to except more pain, more agony, more... hell, I guess. I feel alone and isolated around people. Everyone's so ****ing far away, or maybe I left them. I don't know. I hate myself, that hasn't changed and no amount of medication can help that. I take seven pills every morning and I hate swallowing each one down. I hate that I rely on something that can be taken away so ****ing easily. You know, my ex leaving me and telling me that things were too hard for him (meaning my symptoms) has really screwed with my head. I'm too ****ing broken for anyone to stay around. Everyone leaves because I'm a let down and just a disappointment to even know. I'm pathetic. I just wish someone would put me out of this misery. Do the world a favor, you know?