I'm sorry you are struggling. Have you tried journaling or doing some artwork to be creative to help get out the emotions? Crying stinks, but it does seem to be cathartic, but day after day would be hard. I'm glad you have a good group of friends to help you. Do you have a routine to help keep you on track and make sure you get plenty of sunshine and exercise and all of that good stuff? ((hugs)) I hope you get to see the PDOC soon.