Quote:
Originally Posted by Overit2316
My husband and I are saving for a vacation and as a result are broke right now. Our anniversary is this weekend and I asked what he wanted to do that was reasonable. His response was this weekend is going to stuck. I feel like he is setting up the weekend to suck without   even giving it a chance. I asked him what he wanted to do this evening and everything that I brought up somehow became not good enough. I know we are in counseling and have been working on things, but I am beginning to feel that I have been with him for over a decade and he truly doesn't like me or want to take the time to show me any love no matter how hard I try to be there for him, show him I like him, and show him I love him. I'm so hurt I don't know what to do and am tired of always feeling like I'm not enough for him and am a piece of ****. Suggestions?
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In this case, I would say that you should leave it up to him to make his own joy or lack of it. If he wants to do something then just tell him respectfully that he can let you know when he thinks of that thing he wants to do. if he truly doesn't want to do anything then nothing you can do to force that will make him (or you) happy.
Here's what I see. You suggest things, he rejects them all and if he does accept any one of your options, he will claim later that (if it ends up less than satisfactory) that it's your fault that it turned out that way and because you made the decision.
So again, put the ball squarely in his court. In fact, if he says the weekend will suck, just tell him to let
him you know when he figures out how to make it not suck. It's not up to you to make everything work. but... key point here, if you give him the ball, don't take it back. leave it til he decides. He will figure out he has to participate also after a few times of you doing this.
hope this helps.