Thanks for everyone's replies. I have been thinking it through more and think that some of this could really be just basic misunderstandings and assumptions that have taken place over our expectations - as well as different personality types. Today after being told that she wasn't free to visit me (which I hadn't asked for) I just said 'I'm okay, I'm fine' and that was accepted. I think she feels she needs to care for me but because of mis-communication this situation has come about. Relationships can be so complex!!! This is a learning curve for me for sure.

I suppose I tend to think of bullies as more overt, but generally whats happening seems to be more about assumptions she is making and me not being quick enough to challenge them!