Not sure exactly, I know shame is a big no, no for me and what I consider to be shameful such as telling someone just how much they mean to you. I will skirt around that and even sometimes go as far as to pretend they mean nothing to me, because to me to tell someone how much you care about them is somehow connected to then being exposed and open to being shamed, such as, the person bursting out laughing and saying, well your a mug coz I don't care about you.