Followed up from Monday in our session today. Told him that I SH after our session in Monday because of what we talked about. He asked if he caused mr to be upset and I told him no, that it came from the fear that if I drop Emdr T and then he terminates with me, then I'll be stuck without any professional help. He asked if that's something I worry about and I said yes that I worry I'll be too much for one T to deal with and they'll say that they can't help me. He asked if I worry about myself disappearing if I get upset during therapy instead of discussing it with him. I told him I have ghosted people before but on the other hand I've stuck with a T I really liked for 3 years and our old mc for 18 months for marriage therapy. He said that he's not going to make the decision for me about what to do about seeing him vs seeing EMDR T, but said that if I decide to see him that he wants to try 3 times a week. He did say that I can decide to see emdr T and do whatever work I want to with him and then call him whenever I'm done. I told him I'd much rather try it out with him and see how it goes, but that terminating with Emdr will be a hard thing to do. He also said something about that my medical care also has to be a priority and that we need to talk about me missing my appointments because it affects my mental health as well...I think he was talking about seeing the Dr about the SH but I didn't clarify. I told him I see EMDR T tomorrow and will have the discussion about terminating with him then. We set up our 3rd session starting next week and he said to call him if I wanted or needed to before Monday even though he knows I'm uncomfortable about being a bother. I'm just not sure how I feel after today's session. It's not lile Emdr t is super helpful besides that I know that I can reach out to him and email him between sessions but I have never terminated with a T without it being their decision or by me just ghosting them. I don't know how tomorrow's session will go with emdr and I'm so nervous.