I got the sense that he wanted *her* to do to him what her abuser did to her. Her grabbing him. Right, OP? Like a role reversal? Not that he was going to act like her abuser--which I think is what you're suggesting here? I thought maybe the idea was something like her taking the power back from her abuser through role-playing. Though I could see it being triggering either way, if it takes her back to that place.