You're so much more than what your mind forces you to think. You have MDD and on top of that you have psychotic features, and to add to that you're dealing with so much stress right now. If I was in your position I would crumble. I agree with above, a worthless piece of garbage wouldn't care to help his family the way you do. You're a rock for your daughters. My dad and I didn't always have the best relationship, but I've always needed him in my life. I mean, of course I do, he's my dad and my strength when I'm weak. Your grandkids sound like they need you just as much. I'm not saying this for any other reason than to argue with your illness. And damn it, I'll argue 'til I'm blue and after. I care about you, too my friend. You being on this site has helped me and I'm sure has helped other (especially because of how relatable your story is).