Sorry to hear all of that, fuzzy. But you are NOT a failure. The only failures are the professionals who failed to help you.

I know what you mean about professionals not caring. My first therapist didn't care about me and even accused me of being a liar about my depression when I was diagnosed with it by my pdoc. "No, you're not depressed. That's not what depression looks like. Your psychiatrist is mistaken. Perhaps you described the wrong thing. I haven't seen you depressed." Wtf lady? I wish I were joking. But she is no longer a therapist. Thank God.