I am so tired of financial stress. God, I wish H could find a new job and/or the 2 startup companies he has shares in would start paying him for his time & consultation.

Yesterday sucked for me, pretty much. I hope today goes better. I am meeting with the T this afternoon. Panic attacks are driving me crazy, but the coping mechanisms are the place I need to start since my weight is getting me in hot water with both the pdoc and my PCP. I have done a good job of not running this week, but I am so anxious now. I feel like I need to run tomorrow. I keep feeling like I'm getting so fat with lack of exercise. I hate it.

Panicky & high anxiety too. Fibro hurting quite a bit. Gabapentin is not helping the fibro the way I'd hoped. Maybe the dosage, maybe need a different med. See the rheumatologist next month.

Feel like my daughter is pulling farther & farther away from me because of my changeable moods (think bipolar mixed is making this much worse) and panic attacks/high anxiety. I've got to fix that too, and I have no idea at all how to start.

I am at the point where I feel a lot of my like is broken, and I don't know how to fix it or how to get it together enough to get everything put back together. Depressed and feeling like I am doing a bad job at everything and a good job at nothing.

Still have not heard from CPS. No communication at all for awhile now. I just want to hear the case is closed. By all indications, the last time I spoke with the caseworker she sent it to her supervisor for approval. My luck, her supervisor went on vacation or has a giant pile-up or something. Well, the CPS case got me back into therapy again. I hope this time around, therapy will help. The last therapist I saw (before the one who had qualms about working with someone with an ED) didn't really help. I just talked and that was pretty much it. I got talked out; it really became pointless. She wasn't suggesting anything, giving me methods to help cope, breathing exercises for panic attacks. I felt like she wasn't a bad person, but her thinking was more like, "I will sit here an listen and be sympathetic for 50 minutes because that is my job." Doing all the talking myself was not helpful to me once I had said everything I needed to vent.