I had coffee this morning and I felt happy like. It's a weird feeling. Don't get me wrong, it feels great, but it's weird after being depressed/low for so long. I wonder if I should do the full dose of my antidepressant (pdoc gave me the option to take half a pill or a full one). But I hesitate because I have an event this weekend and I don't want to feel "weird" or fake when I'm there. fake isn't really the word, because I'd feel myself, but like I said, it's just been awhile since I've felt happy....I'm afraid to feel happy. I don't know if that suggests bipolar or just the part of anxiety/depression where you fear "what comes up must come down" so why risk it. (still wondering whether or not I actually have bipolar or simply major depression.)