Hi, I am 20 y.o. guy and to put it simply:

I have never been in a relationship but I long for it, I feel like its what I miss in life the most.
Problem is I cannot make myself even ask anyone out. It feels like my brain supresses any kind of thought for that action, and doesnt let me even try. Previously I thought I feared rejection but a while ago I realised I fear failing the relationship. I dont know what to expect from it, I thought maybe when I meet that right person I will have no issue asking them out or something, since they would understand me and we would figure it out somehow together, but more the time goes, more people I meet, I fear not being ever able to find someone like that. Thinking about this makes me feel really uneasy, sad as I never normally am, I act normally when with friends or around people in general, always trying to be cheerful and sharing good wibes, but I noticed sometimes this thought of being "alone" hits me, and I find myself in a really hard position, when I have to maintain my composure, and recently I was just at the edge of breaking into tears. I dont want to let anyone who knows me know about this issue, thats why I am now trying this forum.

I dont think I can even write something more at the moment, so just to summarize:
Thinking about not being in a relationship (in love if you will) makes me break into tears and feel empty and I need help with what should I do...