I just feel done today, according to the boyfriend I'm irrationally angry and irritated today. I just feel tired of it all, I miss my former job, I miss working. I miss the days where I didn't have to take medication to feel normal. I am sick of medication side effects I am sick of seeing my family doctor every month and sometimes more and him still not able to figure out what is going on with my heart rate and blood pressure. I am sick of this medication circus. I am sick of my father mentioning that maybe it's time to find another job since this is the most stable you have been since July. I still don't feel stable enough to my liking I'm afraid if I do as he expects my first day on the new job I'd erupt at someone being stupid and lose yet another job.

I am sick of every mental health professional dismissing me as stupid because I have a mental illness. I am getting my Bachelor's Degree in Healthcare Management, I am just sick of being dismissed as young and dumb.

I am just fed up with medications, stupid side effects, doctors, therapists, stupid ideas. I just wish I could flush the pills and go back to some form of normal. No I'm not manic or hypomanic, nor do I need to be inpatient, nor am I suicidal. I just have a lot of irritating feelings in my head anyone else have days like today. I am just tired of the whole one step forward and then depression hits and suddenly you are three steps back.