You have not disappointed me, artie. You can do what you like. I have not had the experience of feeling good about myself in the way you are seeking. I've noticed that when you are really feeling at home with yourself, it seems to be when you are with your drumming people or out in nature. Right now you're in a bathroom or on the dance floor and can't feel your face, so you sound more distraught than happy. I hope you can find what you're looking for. I really do.