Quote:
Originally Posted by Balthascar810
I suppose my reluctance to get on with female kind is down to my mum in parts. She spoke to you on the phone for over an hour, I am lucky if I get over a minute on the phone. When I go round, it's still the same as when I was young. I do all the talking and have to initiate the conversation. At least we aren't fighting any more. Which counts for something. I get the odd question thrown my way. But I am fine not being quizzed since I am like a nomad when it comes to work.
Yes I know, changing habits of a life time aren't going to happen overnight. But for brief moments I do wonder why they chose me to be the scapegoat and how everyone just followed and fell into step. I don't have anyone to speak to thanks to my mum's antics growing up. Thanks for nothing . I know my brother and his family care about me of course. And my parents do and just had funny ways of showing it, due to their own up bringings. Things are ok the way they are. So digging up the dead wood will just do more harm than good.
Paddy, should try a mile in my shoes then she would know what reality feels like. To have people say straight to your face you are jealous when that couldn't be further from the truth. To start to believe all the lies because you hear them over and over. Maybe it is me who is wrong,when In actual fact, I am the only one who tries to do what is right. And I need to push for the serenity to accept things I cannot change.
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And why everyone just followed and seemed to fall in step. Most of all why poison my grandparent against me? Flustered, knew that I visited them all the time and mentioned them when I was a young teen. And when my Grandad passed, a friend of my parents said me and my bro would be so upset because they took Us on holidays most years. My Grandfather was proud of his Grand kids and I was a disappointment. My mum was so cruel. She was only working part time but complained every Sunday that I was lazy at home and didn't do house work one week. I was making head way In my sport but my mum still convinced my Grandad that I was "bone idle like my father." because I didn't do ALL the housework all the time. were my mum and I was a kid! They fell hook, line and sinker for all your lies.
She knew my Gran was house proud too so she knew where to aim at the jugular . None of my friends did what my mum expected. I did manage to ignore her accusations sensing a hint of jealousy. I was young and a high achiever. My father ruined their life and I was the remains.
I was at school and I was at the gym every night helping and training. I had no time to see my pals never mind do house work! I still took the dog every single day and hung out washing in morning. Did dishes, ironed (everyones clothes) and cooked for myself. Just because I never did the bathroom. Why did my Grand parents not realise that I should have been encouraged to concentrate on my studies and sport? My mum worked part time and it was just a flat. AND I DID help out. She enforced that it wasn't my room, it was the room that belonged to the flat that THEY payed for. That I would grow up and thank them for putting a roof over my head. It was like they begrudged having me stay. After age 16, the join up to the forces age, I was living on borrowed time. At 17 I started paying "digs."
I was supposed to be talented and my parents did nothing but make me feel insignificant. I felt like they wanted me to fall so they could laugh and say we told you so. Life is a b^tch who always wins. What was so special about me After all?