(((((((( confused ))))))))))

You picked exactly the right forum to post to about your relationship with your mom.

I'm sorry you are having such difficultiies with her. It sounds to me like this behavior has gone on for a long time....pulling you in and then dropping all contact. I can't begin to understand why this happens, but I'm sure it must be tearing you apart.

I'll bet you are feeling that this cannot continue anymore. It must be horribly draining on you and painful too. Do you have a therapist you can speak to about your relationship with mom? I know when I had issues with an aunt and uncle and my dad a number of years ago, it was very helpful to have a T to help me unravel all my emotions so that I could make a decision I felt comfortable with about how I was going to deal with it all.

I was able to have my feelings and emotions validated, which was huge to me. I'll bet it would help you a lot too. Once validated, it's somewhat easier to begin to unravel the past and the feelings.

On the outside, it sounds like your mom seems to get some perverse pleasure out of making you feel like less of a person than you are. It sounds like she reels you in and then drops the line....leaving you to flounder yet again. I would imagine you go through many emotions from kicking yourself for thinking things could change and wanting to kick her for hurting you again.

Maybe realizing that you cannot control who or what your mom is and does, but you can gain control over yourself and how you deal with it all. Once you feel in control of your part of the situation, you will then be able to make better decisions for yourself.

Congrats on loosing 60lbs.!! That is awesome! I do hope you can find some peace soon with all of this.

Wishing you well!


sabby