Hello WhichWay: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral. I'm not sure if I understand what your concern is exactly. You mentioned your fiancé is a veteran. So I wondered if perhaps your fiancé might have PTSD based on his / her military experience & that's the concern, or if you're just looking for suggestions for how to improve your communications skills in general.

Anyway, here are links to a dozen articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on various topics related to communications within relationships. The first 2 are by our host Dr. John Grohol, Psy.D. Hopefully some of the ideas in these articles will be of some help:

9 Steps to Better Communication Today

5 Secrets to a Successful Long-Term Relationship or Marriage

Good Communication in Marriage Starts with Respect

Good Communication with Your Partner

Marriage Communication: How Does It Work?

https://psychcentral.com/lib/agreein...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-10-...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/blog/differ...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-no...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/lib/11-hint...tations/?all=1

https://psychcentral.com/lib/relatio...s-of-marriage/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/6-ways...e-differently/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit. My best wishes to you & your fiance.