Confusedgurl, i have got to say i really feel for you. This is a very sad story and i am not in the least bit suprised that it is upsetting you. After and during reading it i was coming up with lots of different senarios as to why this should be happening. Maybe mom has her own mental health issues, maybe mom has a mental health phobia , maybe mom really just doesnt know how to handle your issues and just worries about that when you are around her. The true answer is i dont know . The only senario that really DIDNT come up was that she hates or even dislikes you. I have been suffering for many years with mental health issues and my parents really couldnt handle them as i belive they kept waiting to be blamed for my state of mind. When ever i went to visit it felt very much like going to see an aquaintance that was trying to impress me with how polite they could be, very starched and stayed, it effected me very badly to the point where i saw very little of them which was a shame as my mother died and i kind of missed out on her last few years. As for advice sorry i really have none other than there have been a few relationships in my life that have not been totally as i would have wished and i felt best about them when i accepted just that... I hassen to add very hard when it comes to my relationship with my father... Hugs to you and hope you get to the right place for you.....