Hi all. I’ve never written on an online forum before but I will do my best to explain my situation. It’s concerning my sister (she’s 18) and the reality that I think she’s losing her mind, but I don’t know how to get her help. To give a little background history, my mother was both physically and mentally abusive towards us as kids. She was violent, suffered from hallucinations in her most agitated state, made a number of suicide attempts, and was addicted to benzodiazepines (klonopin). We cut off all contact with her but a few years later, we came to find out that she has Bipolar Type I, although I still have my doubts about the diagnosis.

My sister didn’t handle what my mother did to us very well, which I believe took a toll on her over the years. She developed an eating disorder, severe anxiety issues, got into cutting, and became very isolated from everyone. She is a very angry person and almost anything anyone says to her can set her off. Things took an even bigger turn for the worst when we had to hospitalize her last summer because she completely lost it. She developed this strange fixation with the fact that she thought she was going deaf, but none of the doctors could figure out if it was true or apart of her imagination. In a matter of about two weeks, every day consisted of my sister crying, screaming and hitting us when we tried to approach her to calm her down. It got to the point that she stopped eating, and all she would do was sit there and stare into space with this lost look on her face for hours on end. She was so nervous and confused that she couldn’t speak correctly anymore; she was severely stuttering (although she never had a stuttering problem), was talking very slowly, and could barely put a sentence together. She eventually let her whole body go limp and stopped voluntarily moving, so we had no choice but to put her in a psychiatric ward. She left approximately 10 days later, but none of the doctors could tell us what was happening to her.

Things have gotten even worse now, because not only does she refuse to get any help (we’ve tried everything to convince her), but now she’s got a new fixation and she’s starting to lose it again. Now she’s obsessed with the fact that her skin is imperfect (its just mild acne) and she can’t live with herself because of it. She tells me that she sometimes feels things crawling under her skin. Just like last time, she won’t leave the house, she keeps fighting everyone around her, and every day consists of her having multiple panic attacks. But she’s gotten even more violent, and has left marks on the doors from kicking them and my dad and I have scratches on our arms. She has no will to live anymore; she wants to quit college, her job and always talks about killing herself. I don’t know what to do anymore. Everyday is a constant battle of trying to get her under control before she hurts us or herself. Every medication she’s tried, it either hasn’t worked or she won’t give it enough time to kick in before she stops taking them.

I know I shouldn’t be using forums to ask for a diagnosis, but does anyone here have a vague idea of what she is suffering from? I feel like if we AT LEAST have an idea of what her illness is, then at least we have a place to start. I am asking this because every doctor we have spoken to has been either passive and uncaring to our situation, or straight up has no idea what’s wrong with her. We don’t know who else to turn to. This is extremely frustrating and we desperately need answers. Thanks for reading if you’ve gotten this far.