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Old Sep 30, 2018, 08:46 AM
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Blueberrybook Blueberrybook is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: TX
Posts: 6,598
No interesting weekend plans. H spent all of yesterday working on tweaking his resume and emailing for letters of recommendation. Since he wants to apply to teach at university level, application is more complicated. You often need to email research plans for what you'd like to do since he has his Ph.D. in physical chemistry though he's had crossover into biochemistry & statistics, computer programming & CAD modeling through his work and self-teaching. And all the research plans need to be tweaked to showcase the department he is applying for. He has some past associates who are professors at various universities offering to help out and/or give letters of recommendation. It is just university professorships are hard to get with no first author publications. I still cannot believe Rice University in Houston (a private university and quite prestigious) let him graduate without a single first author publication. I had to have 1 first author publication to graduate with an M.S. at the University of Houston (much less prestigious than Rice), and Ph.D. candidates in my department needed 2, preferably 3 first author publications on top of the thesis to graduate. It is frustrating to H because he did his graduate work under a Nobel Prize winner too (Rick Smalley, for the Bucky Ball work, now deceased), but Smalley apparently in person made grad students & post-docs basically compete for first authorship on a publication, and H just isn't ruthless like that. And while still living, Smalley did not write letters of recommendation for his past grad students. All of that hindered H in the university field, though he had good paying jobs at NASA and with NASA contractors until the government cut funding to NASA. Now, he is teaching high school physics though he definitely has the background for large research projects or a professorship.

I am doing OK this morning. I feel much better than yesterday as far as my stomach goes. Not sure if throwing up was hormones, a bit of a bug, possible food poisoning (used a rotisserie chicken to make soup, but usually refrigerating it then re-heating it in the soup would have killed most germs responsible for food poisoning).

Still no sign of my period. I'm usually not late, but last month was super stressful. It could be I just ovulated yesterday as I had ovary pain, not that it means much for me; I've had it both mid-cycle and at the end of the cycle when I was religiously following stuff like that trying to have a sibling for my daughter. We just ended up with secondary infertility; nothing wrong with H, nothing wrong with me through the first stage of testing, and we left it at that. It's been years now and nothing, and this past cycle we were just so stressed, we didn't even have sex, so I know I am not pregnant. I have had stress delay cycles, not for years though, not even after ulcer surgery, but this past month has been extremely stressful with the CPS case, tough finances, hard talks with H, starting therapy again.

Though it is early yet, the good news is I think I've finally found a T that fits me. It's taken years; I don't know, sometimes it's hard to relate to other people, sometimes I got bad T's, sometimes, I wasn't with a T for long before moving or an insurance change. Never had a connection with any of them or felt I made any progress. I really hope I can trust my instincts on this T.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD

Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine,

There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in.
--Leonard Cohen
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