I make it through the weekend due to my amazing friends, unfortunately i did have a few glasses of wine as I didn't want them to see the pain I'm burdened by. I have an appointment tomorrow with my MH provider. I don't know why I think this will make any changes to my mood but I need something to look forward to but hopes are not very high but theirs always a chance. My physical pain distracts a little bit but it's debilitating. My GP increased my gabapentin by double and gave me a referral to my pain specialist but nothing to relieve the pain. I understand the problem with people becoming addicted to opiods but I'm pretty sure that 10 pills will cause me to become reliant on them or cause me to turn to heroin as so many do. i would love a few days pain free.
I do feel safe right now but who know what tomorrow will bring.
Thank you all for the support.