It can happen in such a way that you do push the boundaries and the T will respond in a way that is not rejecting, even when he feels he has to establish tighter boundaries.

I mean, you do want to push the boundaries so that he would react. Thus, it would not be helpful if he would be infinitely enabling (i.e. moving away from you with the boundaries). I believe it could be helpful if he will stay where he is, not push back forcefully (to push you away, ie reject) but sort of indicate that "this is where I am, I am not letting you to do all those things but I will stay with you and I'm not going to leave you".

Well, my own experience is in this respect pretty simple. I've pushed tons of boundaries. My T has enabled some things when he felt that I really need it (emails, calls, covering me with a blanket, putting a quilt on the couch so I wouldn't have to feel the body warmth of the previous person). He has taken away all this stuff though once he felt that I don't need them anymore and providing these things is not helping me anymore. He tolerated and survived all my attacks and accusations after taking away these things. After some time of pushing back and being angry I found that he was right - I did not need those things anymore, indeed. Rather, I became grateful that he provided me these things for a period of time where I probably really needed them.

At the same time, he has not been rigid. He has still accepted and even answered some email because they were not coming from that combative boundary-pushing part of me anymore but rather from a completely different self-reflective part that attempted to connect to another human being (him) and share something I found important. He said he answered because he felt he needed to do that.

And then there have been other more serious boundary tests. I don't want to really list them here in public forum but let's say that I have done all sorts of crazy things in session. Few times he has had to physically throw me out, few times he has had to warn me that if I cannot conduct myself in session then our treatment will end because it is impossible to do therapy in such conditions and if it is impossible to do therapy then we have no reasons to meet anymore.

All the while he has been there for me and I have been able to find the defiant child in me that was suppressed when I was a child. I'm ok now that I have this child in me, for some time now I haven't felt the need to push any boundaries. Rather, I'm much more now able to bring my emotions and my self into session and to be present and connected with T.

By the way, lying on the couch and looking away does not hinder emotional contact at all. It's all there in the silence, in the tone of voice of both of us, in the movement of me on the couch and him in his chair. I can hear him breathing, I can hear/feel him leaning forward in his chair and looking at me.