It's hard to say without knowing details but isn't it the bolded? If having to make someone else happy plays any role in your decision-making, it's codependent?

Judging from your Dear T post earlier--making other people happy may make us happy, but it's secondary to making ourselves happy.

Be selfish. Make yourself happy. That might make others happy too. Like your husband was pleased you told him to buzz off about your driving last weekend.