Yes! This is probably similar to what was discussed on a couple recent threads about expressing anger: the differences between anger-driven assertiveness vs. mostly passive-aggressive hostility.

All this is definitely related to how we could or could not draw attention as kids (from out parents and other relatives, peers etc). What I posted above was a strategy I developed very early on, like before age 10. Of course a more immature version initially but it was the same strategy I continued to hone as I was growing up and even in earlier adulthood (to a large extent, even now) - because it worked from start. At first, my father liked it and reinforced it massively, plus his adult friends who often frequented our home and who were much more my company than other kids back then. Then I just continued seeking out the same kinds of people over and over, with a few exceptions for close relationships. I rarely sought attention from my mother as far as I recall because she actually gave me much more than I would have wanted, she was quite intrusive, so I more avoided her. Can't remember how it was when I was a baby but based on all I know, the "too much for me" probably started back at that stage. I clearly remember trying to detach from her very strongly around age 4-5, that's when I ran to my dad and continued to be much closer to him throughout the rest of their lives. I always find interesting that I never longed for a better mom, or any mother figure for that matter - probably related to the attention-overload and intrusiveness I received very early on. I was also frequently rejected by peers (other kids) before age 10, in the areas of conventional kids stuff. So I stuck with what I knew worked quite predictably. It required knowing very well how to select the "objects" though. This type of selecting is what I have been trying to adjust a bit during the past decade or so, because it only takes me so far. It is definitely challenging! As for one, choosing my first T was a conscious effort trying to change the selection (someone obviously much more reactive, emotional, irrational, error-prone, less intellectual). But that mostly failed (or we just could not figure it out and then I left), reinforcing, once again, the strategy I already knew working. Then I chose a 2nd T who fit my original pattern pretty well, it was better, but not truly therapeutic. Of course all this is not that simple but this has been the pattern.