So, I have been getting career counseling. I am going to be taking a foreign language class starting tomorrow, as part of my career exploration. My career counselor and supported ed counselor (same person) said that if I really want to work (and I do), I will have to manage my emotions on the job so that if I am having a bad day, emotionally, or otherwise, I can stay at my job and not leave. I will have emotion regulation skills. I will be able to deal. This is why I'm taking DBT group.

I am going to be going to my local office of employment with a friend, who is also looking for a job, next week sometime. I have anxiety about going, because I know someone who works there, and we were friends at one time. When I was 29 and he was in his late 40s, I threw myself at him when I was going through a hard break up. But I am going to go. I will figure out a plan on how to deal, beforehand.

I would really appreciate people refraining from saying "you're not ready to work." I find that very discouraging and not helpful or accurate. I want to see how it goes. I'm not getting some full time job. I will still be on disability when I work. I will ease in to it. I anticipate road bumps and pot holes. I'm ok with this.

I realized too, that I have a lot of people in my life, who are not supportive in the way I need them to be about my work situation. Many people are silent. Others say "Take your time." I HAVE been. I have not worked in 5 years and I am ready. It makes me feel like people don't believe in me when they say things like that. Or are silent. Or say "well, you don't have to figure it out today." My mother says that like clockwork. Every. time. I broach the subject. I guess I am just looking for more positive encouragement from people. I wish people in my life could give me that. I made a Facebook post. Maybe its just all in asking. I do not talk about work there at all, but decided to disclose a little today.

I do think this is a good time to experiment with jobs. I can see where I'm at with my DBT progress. And it may be a case of good fit vs bad fit too. The nursing home was a bad fit. I also have a feeling, that if it was a job I was getting paid for, I may have been able to stick with it.

Thanks for listening.