I never though about it, but it could be similar to the 5 stages of grief. Very interesting viewpoint. Also, I'm on the fence about going to see him. I've seen his mental health slip and after he refused my help so many times I kind of had to distance myself from him over the past year simply for my own mental wellbeing.

I guess the biggest emotonal conundrum I'm facing is reconciling the very kind and gentle and giving friend I know with the brutality of his attack. He fired four rounds into the ground and then stabbed one of his best friends 20 times. I guess I still am just in shock from it all.

Again, thanks for letting me vent on here and for the support.