Hi Kit, I havenīt been in the exact same situation but I can still relate. One of the most important questions I had asked myself would be if I fully believed that my therapist wanted this contact with me. If I doubted that, I had probably tried to ask her.
I assume she doesnīt give any sessions at all anymore? If my T then had told me she is willing to e-mail me, that sheīs fine doing that from home then I had asked her how often she thought it was acceptable. I think itīs better to ask those things straight out than having a lot of thoughts about it.
You could send the e-mail youīre now planning to write and at the end you ask her in a gentle manner how she feels about the e-mails in the future.
Even if my T isnīt sick but had to end abruptly I would really like some kind of e-mail or telephone contact in the future. But I donīt think thatīll happen and I donīt think I would ask her. But thatīs a bit different from your situation as your T has given you some freedom around this.
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Originally Posted by SlumberKitty
Has anyone had the experience of staying in contact with a former therapist--not in a "lets be friends way" but in a "here's how I'm doing way"? I had a T for 10 years that got sick with MS and had to quit being my T.  She told me I could still email her (as I was used to emailing her every week between sessions) and after a while (undefined) I could call her. I arbitrarily made myself wait a month before emailing, which is coming up in a few days. I've tried really hard to sort of "move on" from the relationship in this month and have tried to really let myself feel the grief of missing her and missing her in my life and there are times when I still cry. As the arbitrary month gets closer to an end and I think about letting myself email her, I am beginning to question myself as to whether or not this is a good idea. I had a good relationship with this T and I have grieved and grieved her loss. I want to be in contact with her because I'm used to being in contact with her and I want her to still be a part of my life. But I also don't want to experience more pain or hurt from being in contact. The relationship has changed, I just don't know how specifically it's changed. Opinions are welcome and if anyone has been in this situation I would be interested to know how it worked out. Thanks Kit. |